Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Christmas, New Year's, birthdays and anniversaries. For most people, just thinking about these special days spent with family and friends can bring back a flood of happy memories. Yet for those who have lost a loved one, handling the holidays and other special occasions is no small burden.

At a time when everyone is supposed to be happy and enjoying themselves, the bereaved can feel sad, lonely and depressed. These feelings may be heightened especially during the first year after the death.

Hospice of Little Traverse Bay has put together some suggestions and reflections to help you cope with grief. Just like spending time with family and friends who can comfort and support you, we hope the information here addresses your grief and helps make your holidays and special occasions brighter. 

How to Remember a Loved One at the Holidays
Holidays can create a feeling of dread and anxiety in those who are bereaved. The cliché images of family togetherness and the often unrealistic expectations of a season filled with picture-perfect, joyful gatherings can cause tremendous stress for those who are not grieving — let alone those in the midst of the painful, isolating experience of loss. How does one celebrate the holidays when a loved one is so sorely missed?

Here are some suggestions of what you can do:

• Decorate a wreath with pictures and items that were loved by the person who died and place the wreath at his or her grave.
   
• Wrap a favorite keepsake of the deceased or a framed picture of your loved one, and give it as a gift to another grieving family member.
   
• Tell the stories behind the ornaments on the Christmas tree and the role your loved on played in making these memories. Create a special ornament labeled with the name of the deceased and hang it on the tree.
   
• Decorate a candle and light it at mealtime in memory of your loved one. If you celebrate Hanukkah, recall a memory of the deceased on each of the eight nights that you light the Menorah.
   
• Make a book of pictures and memorabilia about the deceased to give or simply share with one another. This is a good activity for children as well.
   
• Make a donation to a favorite charity in the person's honor. Create a scholarship to keep the memory of the deceased alive and announce it at a holiday gathering of family friends.
   
• Purchase a holiday book — perhaps a favorite of the deceased — and donate it to your local library or school. Ask your librarian to place a label in the front cover inscribed "In Memory of (your loved one's name)."
   
• Bring your loved one's favorite food to share at a holiday dinner. Mention their name in the blessing over the food or propose a toast to their memory.

Grief  and Tips for Self Care

Children’s Grief Support

Adult Grief Support and Education